Some Musings on Compassion as an Antidote to Our Fractured World
Written by Filippa Marullo Anzalone
Lately, it seems that empathy and compassion are in short supply. Have you been feeling this way? Criticizing and judging others, and sometimes even downright cruelty, appear to be the order of the day. How do we combat this state of affairs in our world? My unsolicited advice would be through self-compassion. Why? Because self-compassion fosters empathy, patience, and better communication. Self-compassionate people have an easier time quieting their inner critic. They are curious rather than judgmental, friendly rather than hostile.
The Sacred Threads community was so fortunate to have a conversation with Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle, author of Adventures Along the Spiritual Paths, on September 18. Olivia spoke of the Latin root of the word, compassion; it stems from the word compassionis, meaning "to suffer with." Thus, the etymological meaning of compassion is empathetic suffering with the desire to alleviate it.
One of my favorite parts of the conversation was a compassionate practice that Olivia shared with us. She suggested that we need to pause, come to the breath, focus on the breath for a few moments while we rest our hand on the area of the heart, and then, once we feel calmer, gradually come back to oneself and to others. I have been using this simple practice almost daily in the past week as it is such a useful tool when we find ourselves in a state of overwhelm.
Another wonderful gem of wisdom from Olivia was that guilt is a useless emotion; she advised us to “let it go!” I could not agree more. Olivia says that “hard times can bring the most growth; they are training grounds for the heart.” Whether you attended Olivia’s conversation or not, knowing more about compassion, and especially self-compassion, is important for us in the divided and complex world we find ourselves in. Let’s look at why.
A compassionate nature is linked to lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. Self-compassion promotes emotional balance and reduces the risk of burnout, especially in high-pressure environments. Instead of harsh self-judgment, compassion encourages a kinder, more understanding internal dialogue. This is particularly useful when we are experiencing difficulties, setbacks, or failure. When we are self-compassionate, we are better equipped to handle stressors, disappointments, or even devastating emotional pain. Compassion fosters a sense of safety and support within us and helps to build resilience, the ability to bounce back from overwhelm and upsetting events more quickly.
Some of us have bought into a myth that self-compassion leads to laziness. This is a conflation of self-centeredness with self-compassion. In fact, research has shown that self-compassion actually boosts motivation. People who are able to quickly recover from setbacks, and who treat themselves kindly, are more likely to take responsibility and make positive changes. Why? Because instead of ruminating about their mistakes or their situation, they use their mental bandwidth to learn from whatever arises. They are not stymied by the paralysis brought on by shame or fear.
Most importantly, when we are kind to ourselves, it is easier to be kind to others. Compassion is generative and other-directed; it strengthens personal and professional relationships. When we take off our masks and face the fact that we are all works in progress, we can show up for ourselves, and others, in a real way instead of chasing unrealistic standards of perfection. We can allow ourselves to stop striving and start collaborating. We can accept that others have imperfections. We can move through the world with authenticity. Doesn’t this sound like a recipe for a happier, more grounded and fulfilling life?
